Surviving Twins

Thriving Threes

Elaine — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 17:18:46 +0000

I was often told by other parents of multiples that 3’s were actually worse than 2’s. The problem was, people told me that when my twins were 2! (And, when life is difficult, the very last thing you want to hear is that life is only going to get harder.) Similarly, when my twins were babies, I was told the first year was the most difficult. But, being a “baby” person, I loved every minute of the first year. What no one told me, was that if one stage is easy, another stage most likely won’t be. (Which is probably part of the reason the 2’s were so hard).
So, what have I learned? When anyone tells you what “the hardest part of raising twins” is… or “the most challenging age is…” take it with a grain of salt. Not only is it dependent on your child’s personality, and the interaction between your multiples, but it also depends on your strengths as a parent. Some people deal with lack of sleep better than others, and some people have the patience and energy to run after a mobile child, and some have an innate ability to deal with talking back. So, whatever difficult phase you’re going through, know that it will end. And most likely, you will soon get to a new stage that is easier for you. Parenting rarely gets easy… it just gets different.
As my girls near the age of 4, and I think about the last year, I realize that things in my life have gotten a lot better. Even though there is more attitude, more opinions, and more bickering between them, there is also reasoning, helpfulness, and a wonderful friendship. I also know that I may come to another difficult stage again, but that will end eventually too!

I survived the terrible two’s!

Elaine — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 20:10:34 +0000

I apologize (again) for being so inconsistent in writing. I really have no excuse other than the fact that my girls have been 2 for the last year… and they were the epitome of terrible! So for anyone out there who is being driven crazy by their 2-year-old twins, I feel your pain. I used to not give myself enough credit, watching all my friends with their 2-year-olds, getting out frequently, disciplining effectively, living much saner lives, and looking much more rested. But my friends have assured me that they all have a difficult time dealing with just 1 2-year-old.

So, with little-to-no words of advice, I leave you with an empathetic blog entry… and just know that whatever “terrible” phase you’re going through WILL end. My girls turn 3 next week, and while I can’t say life is easy, it is certainly beginning to feel bearable again. Maybe down the road, I can give a few words of wisdom… of what I wish I had known.

Disneyland here we come!

Elaine — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 16:00:46 +0000

My husband and I always said that we weren’t going to take our kids to Disneyland until they were old enough to actually remember it. However… after finding out that kids under 3 are FREE, we couldn’t resist! After all, the next time we go, we’ll be paying for at least 4 people.

So, for the last 2 weeks I’ve been trying to instill excitement into my 2-year-olds as well. I point out every Disney character I see, encourage them to watch all their favorite Disney movies, and remind them every day how many days left we have till we get to see Mickey and Minnie, Woody and Buzz, and Cinderella. Fortunately, and unfortunately, it’s worked. They now seem quite excited to go… so much that when I tell them we need to run an errand, the response is, “No, Disneyland first!” And now, I’m already considering the withdrawal they’ll have when we come home. Somehow, I can’t imagine that taking them to the park the next day will even come close to Disneyland.

So our last dilemma is what kind and how many strollers to take. Do we take our double jogger? Do we buy a double side-by-side (since I’ve been wanting to get one anyway to replace my double tandem)? Or do we buy 2 cheap umbrella strollers so we can maneuver through the crowds easily. And we could rent one… for $10 a day- but for that I could by 2 umbrellas.

I think in the end, the squeals of delight, overwhelming excitement, and pure joy on their faces will make it all worth it! (Not to mention 2 exhausted girls at the end of each day).

Yesterday: Thriving - Today: Surviving

Elaine — Sun, 07 Jan 2007 23:34:39 +0000

First of all, I just want you all to know that no, my children didn’t kill me. I apologize for not writing for such a long time. Sometimes life just gets in the way. My husband started a new job and was traveling for about a month. I’ve started a vinyl lettering business, one of my daughters broke her elbow, and then came the holidays. So those are the highlights of the last 2 months! Oh, and did I mention I still have 2-year-old twins? Fortunately, most of you reading this know that the last one is a list in and of itself.

Second, I’ve received a couple emails since I haven’t written a post in ages… and I just want to thank you. Honestly, I enjoy blogging about twins… but it’s even nicer to know that some of you enjoy reading what I have to say. So, knowing that, I promise (maybe as a New Year’s resolution) to be more consistent with my blog.

I was hoping to have something fantastic to write about- since it’s been so long, but I don’t. So, here are some thoughts I’ve had over the last couple months. In talking with many parents of multiples, I’ve found that every stage is different for everyone. I was told countless times when I was pregnant that the first year would be the hardest. Well, I have to disagree…strongly! I absolutely LOVED the first year. Playing, reading, feeding, taking my new little best friends on errands- everyday we were thriving. I loved life! Then my girls started walking- and talking. Of course, I still enjoy every “new” stage- like learning to walk, and learning new words, but when 18 months hit, I was suddenly not thriving anymore. Many days were physically, mentally, and emotionally draining. Still, at almost 2 1/2, my girls are exhausting. I am more tired some days now than I was when I breastfed 3 times a night. (At least then I could get in a nap or 2). However, I do realize that my girls are getting much better at communicating. And sometimes it’s easier to reason with them.

So, what’s my point? Well, every stage brings something new. New challenges and new blessings. And whatever that ends up being, it’s always going to be double! So, if you’re one of those whose first year is incredibly difficult, hang in there! The next stage will probably get easier. And if you’re one of those whose having the most difficult pregnancy, you’ll probably appreciate those 2 adorable little babies. And if you’re like me, and your twins are taking the “terribles” literally, it’s bound to end. So, while it’s good- enjoy it, and keep on thriving! And when it’s not so good, just keep on surviving. Tomorrow’s a new day.

Twin Costume Ideas

Elaine — Mon, 02 Oct 2006 18:53:24 +0000

Now that it’s October, it’s time to start thinking about costume ideas. And what’s cuter than twins in coordinating outfits? Twins dressed in coordinating Halloween costumes! So, here’s a list of some cute costume ideas for your twins. The picture shown is my girls last year in Tom Arma costumes. (A skunk and a flower). He has some adorable costumes, though they are slightly expensive.
Boy/Girl Ideas
Jack and Jill
Raggedy Ann and Andy
Hansel and Gretel
Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia
Cinderella and Prince Charming
Mickey and Minnie
Pebbles and Bambam

2 Boys
Soldiers
Power Rangers
Woody and Buzz
Batman and Robin
Superheroes (Superman, Spiderman, Batman)
Fireman and Policeman
Cowboy and Indian

2 Girls
Princesses
Bo Peep and Sheep
Power Puff Girls
Butterfly and Ladybug
Bumblebee and flower

Unisex
Farm animals
Crayons
Salt and Pepper
Peas in a Pod
M and M’s
Hershey Kisses
Dice
Shoes
Pen and Pencil
Fruit (apple, orange, grapes, etc)
Puppy and Kitty
Angel and Devil

There are plenty of more ideas out there…although I had a hard time thinking of specific “girl” costumes, so if you have other ideas that I don’t have here, let me know… Since I still have no idea what my girls are going to be this year.

Twin Birth Announcements

Elaine — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 06:49:43 +0000

When your little ones arrive, you will probably not have the time, energy, or possibly even the memory to send out birth announcements. So start early. Obviously you’ll need to wait until they come to announce names, date of birth, measurements, etc. But here are some sites that you can browse for ideas, pick out designs, and even custom make your own. I wish I had looked before my girls came. (And for those whose twins are here and who haven’t sent out announcements, there’s no better time than the present!)

Parenting twins…alone

Elaine — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 17:13:26 +0000

I’m a stay at home mom, so it’s not like I’m not used to dealing with my twins on my own. However, every evening when my husband comes home from work, it seems to rejuvenate me for the next day. He helps with dinner, bath time, and bedtime routines. And of course, just having another adult to manage them is much easier. And did I forget to mention that my children are just all-around better behaved for my husband? So, why am I writing this? Well, yesterday, my husband left for a business trip. So for the next week (possibly 2) I will regain my respect for single parents- especially those with twins.

Now I realize that if I were truly a single parent, I would probably have a full-time job, and need to put my kids in daycare. But just the thought of having to do it all on my own is stressful and intimidating. So, to all of you single moms and moms whose husbands work long hours, travel frequently, or who are just gone a lot, this post is a tribute to you. As I have no words of wisdom today, know that you are truly respected, and you are not praised enough for your hard work!

The Cutest Twin Apparel

Elaine — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 13:00:46 +0000

I occasionally find some cute twin clothes that I can’t pass up. We currently own t-shirts that say “Yes, we’re twins!” and “I love my wombmate!” But I found this great site with thousands (literally) of twin designs for your kids, you, and even for grandma and grandpa. They even give you the option of putting designs on t-shirts, bibs, onesies, mugs, and magnets. For example, The top 5 things NOT to say to a mom of twins are:
5. Which one’s your favorite?
4. I guess you’re done now.
3. Better you than me.
2. Are they “natural?”
1. DOUBLE TROUBLE

The site is www.cafepress.com/buy/twin. Check it out.

For all your multiple needs…

Elaine — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 15:07:27 +0000

I came upon this site recently. multiplesoutlet.com It’s an online store that claims to be the place where you can get everything for your multiples- all at a discounted price. They offer flat rate shipping prices for everything within a certain dollar amount, and free shipping for all orders over $100. (Which is great especially if you’re buying a double stroller). But other than shipping, I wasn’t that impressed with the site. Items didn’t seem to be any cheaper than most stores. Some were much more expensive. And the selection was also slim. However, they do also offer advice and a free email newsletter. I can’t say too many bad things, becuase I haven’t bought anything from there. (But why would I when I’m not impressed to begin with?) Well, if you are interested, check them out at multiplesoutlet.com. And let me know if you find something worthwhile.

Preparing your singleton for twins

Elaine — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 13:00:42 +0000

It’s hard enough for your singleton (especially a first child) to adjust to a new baby, let alone 2 new babies! Not only will they go through attention withdrawal, but it will be double. And most likely, that “handsome little boy,” or that “pretty little girl” that everyone on the street used to ooh and aah over will be overlooked for those “cute little twins!” So here are some things to help your singleton transition into big brother/sisterhood.

During Pregnancy:

1. Prepare them early. As soon as you’re ready to tell, explain how life will change. Babies will need a lot of attention. They will cry, eat, and need diaper changes frequently.

2. Emphasize the important new role they will be playing as a “big” sister or brother. Some may be too young to fully understand, but continue to talk about it- positively.

3. Involve them in the process. Bring them for an ultrasound visit. Let them help pick out new outfits, blankets, toys, etc. Even let them come up with name ideas. The only problem that may arise is the disappointment when you decide NOT to name the babies Lilo and Stitch.

4. Encourage positive interaction. Have them talk to, sing to, and “play” with the babies in mommy’s tummy. Let them feel the babies kicking. This will also help them understand the babies are something tangible.

5. Sign up for a soon-to-be sibling class. Many hospitals offer these preparation classes for kids to learn how to hold a baby, what the birth will be like, and even discussions about their feelings about having a sibling. Call your local hospital for information.

6. Visit friends/relatives with babies. There’s nothing like hands-on practice…

7. Plan for “milestones.” Many toddlers regress in certain areas when a new baby comes home. (i.e. potty training, sleeping) So if you’re planning on potty training, moving from a crib to a bed, bottle to sippy cup, either do it early enough before the babies come to have time to adjust, or wait a little while after they’re born to change.

After Birth:

1. Involve as much as possible. This is the time to practice holding, feeding, and changing diapers. You might even let them pick one to always be in charge of.

2. Set aside one-on-one time with your singleton. While they might love being a second “mommy” to the new babies, they will also need some alone time. Take time to do the things you used to do together.

3. Be sensitive to their feelings. They might have times when they’re mad at the babies. And they might not be able to tell you in words. No feelings are wrong, so help justify those feelings of jealousy, frustration, and annoyance. (However, don’t allow the physical actions that sometimes come with those feelings).

4. Read books that relate. I have seen a few books specifically written for kids with younger twin siblings. Some specifically focus on the singletons’ feelings. Click here for a previous post about children’s books on twins. (This is also a good idea for pregnancy as well).

5. Respect that they may not want to talk about their new babies. And possibly let family and friends know that they won’t want to be asked about them everyday either.